~AUTUMN/WINTER of 2006/07~

That's right: When asked to name the one big problem with fashion, Tom Ford (former designer for Gucci & YSL) said that it is how rapidly the seasons change from one to the next, causing designers to "make artificial changes" just to put out something new and different. Well, I'm here to change that by showcasing some of the awesomest outfits from seasons gone-by! This stuff truly is art work And so, without further ado-- Here is some of the very best of the Fall/Winter '05 Collections...!

The design houses I name are particularly outstanding--and they are all based out of Italy, proving that, when it comes to fashion, it might very well be true that ITALIANS DO IT BETTER. Capiche? I mean, just look at the tailoring--the cut, the color, the fit, the fabric--they definitely know what looks good!
BLUMARINE - OK, While some designers just use black unthinkingly, here's one house with some incredibly fresh ideas, and here they are:
AIGNER - Someone once said "Almost every man looks more so in a belted trench coat." I think we can absolutely say the same of almost every woman, too -- faboo!
Amanda Wakeley - Never saw a braid of hair used as a belt. It would actually be a little disconcerting if it weren’t for the absolute stunningness of the rest of the outfit and, well, HER hair, too.
The flowers are unspeakably beautiful!
PAOLA FRANI - '50s rrrredux! Are these the girls who twirl their chewing gum...?
ROCCOBAROCCO -- What's this? DAAAAAAAAAAMN!!!!!!! WWWWOW. I…think...church attendance is going to incraese about five-MILLION percent. Amen to that! I think this calls for a little prayer-- In the Name of Beauty, Lord Have Mercy... (Lead me not to temptation--unless you have to. I will admit...I'm quite easily persuaded.)
Behnaz Sarafpour - Looks like a melting Hershey's Kiss! ;-*
BLURGIRL ( HOW CUTE IS THIS LOOK??? SOOOOOOOO CUTE!!! And one more time--!!!!!)
Best reinterpretation of the Canadian flag I have ever seen. A dress like that could really turn heads, eh?

But back to the Good Ol' US of A...

Anna Sui - Look at the little cutiepie from the North... John Galliano - Well, she about to have a faceoff with this here Daughter o’ the Confederacy…
What is this, some sort of 'Pret-a-Forter Sumter'?? Hey, why don’t ya get Lincoln to do a Gettysburg DRESS? (OMG LOLOL!!! ROFLMAO...?) Look! She's a combination of the two! Good old red, white, and blaaaaaaaaaah. She's hot.
Luella - I'm a bit confused about this one: Is she IN the show or just leaving?
Tuleh - Ok, now this one is DEFINITELY about to catch a flight somewhere. Hey, uh, wrong ‘runway,’ sweetheart--can somebody get this her manager on the phone? IMMEDIATELY??
  Iceberg - Oo, futuristic stewardess!
Viktor & Rolf - The white cuffs don't just make the outfit--they make it UNBELIEVABLE.
Just Cavalli - Yo. Ok, straight up? When YOU talk puffy jackets, you might be talkin' all “North Face," and that's cool...but as for this fly shorty? She all on dat HIMALAYAN tip, yay-YAY. Top of Everest. Matta fact, this gotta be, like, tha ONLY puffy jacket I ever gave a MOUNTAIN of props to, 4 REALZZZZZZ----
  Burberry Prorsum - That's pretty...spooky....  
Betsey Johnson - Adorable skirt suit. Simple as that!
~The Untold Story~ This week's vignette!

WHOA, okay, so now that pious knockout from before wants to go corporate? Allow me to handle this: “OK... [stretches arms forward, cracks knuckles, sits up, and leans across the desk] Look, I know I’m not the boss... but whatever job you're looking for? YOU. ARE HIRED. No questions asked, no résumé needed. Trust me. Y'see, I look at you, and ahhh, I can see there is CLEEEARLY an abundance of…PROOF that you have, ah, ample EXPERIENCE in this field. Yes, really! I mean that. You are practically BUSTING OUT with some of the most impressive, uhh, QUALIFICATIONS I have ever seen... So welcome to the firm.” (I do exhibit the utmost courtesy and professionalism in the workplace. Absolutely always.)

But OH--YEAH—how could I EVER forget the jealous, blond you-know-what from Human Resources--who actually turned her down (because SHE apparently wasn't turned ON--which "she" am I referring to? You decide). Yeah, ridiculous! Can you believe that sh^t?!? HEY, Miss Platinum Peroxide 2000! If you’re readin' this, I hate your guts! How could you keep our fine company from being that much more WELL-ROUNDED? Huh?? WHAT THE FFF^*K were you smokin'?? Did someone replace your Light 100's with a ffff^ckin' crack pipe or something? OK, I'm done. Let's look at some of the other lovelies:

One more... And here's the supervisor--WATCH OUT!
Oh look! It's the temp! ;P
So, like I said--ROCCOBAROCCO. The name can be translated roughly as something along the lines of "breath-taking, gasp-inducing, utterly devastating beauty." Yeah, that sounds about right. Or should I say "something along te "SEAMS"...? A perfect amalgamation of style and class...
You want MORE shapeliness?
Elena Miro - Yup, she got it goin' on and on and on and on. Undoubtedly more of a woman than your AVERAGE "modela flaca." You are what you eat, huh? Well if all you're consuming (instead of food) are white lines, then all you're gonna look like is a white line (SNIFF!). But me? MY kinda woman eats only the plumpiest, juiciest, most gorgeous-looking' steaks you ever saw in your LLLIFE, my friend!
Ashish - Must glamour always mean restraint and confinement? I, for one, beg to differ.
And let's check out some of the more casual looks, shall we?
Luella - I think she just stood in line for 7 hours to get Joan Jett tickets. (That's just what I heard.)
AF Vandevorst - Kinda looks like they were GOING to design a much crazier outfit and then just stopped half or one-third of the way through—-or maybe the model is just dressing up...
Diesel - "X part of Manhattan meets X other-part of Manhattan" (Don't ask ME...I'm too busy BEING a Manhattanite, mon cher...)
Byblos - Oh, are you THAT friggin' cool?? Yeah, this chick’s letting evvvverybody know that she’s cuttin’ class (and to become a runway model or somethin'...wonder how that’s workin’ out for her).
Juanjo Oliva - Does this young lady look like she’s dating a saxophonist, a hitman, or a secret agent? Maybe all three, but the question remains whether it’s all the same guy… Maybe it's her!
Nope, no wires. Guess I was wrong. Wait, lemme check one more time...
Paul Smith Women - The shirt cinches AND clinches the whole silhouette, really pulls it all together! (pun dreadfully intended)
Guiliana Teso - Uh-oh... Now there are a LOT of psycho[w]itches who may BE more evil than this one, sure—but I doubt they pull off the look this frightening well. Damn. Y’know, I am seriously intimidated and yet this is still just a picture...
Moschino Cheap & Chic - Is that Sisters of Mercy you’re playing? All right, well at least we know what distracts her...
Louis Vuitton - Nice, um, reclosable fluffy-muff?…or uh, furry...fannypack?? (I freagin’ swear the innuendos are unintentional.) But I do like her ermine beercan cozy or whatever. Whaaa? Ok, let’s just call it her “LOUIE” and be done with it.
Diesel - The only original-looking guy
Ah yessss....